And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
til touchdown brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at all,
Oh, no no no ....
I'm a Rocket Man!
Burning out his fuse out here, alone.
Hello. I'm William Shatner, and yes, I know how thrilled you are to meet me. I would be too, if I were you. After all, I'm Captain James T. Kirk. Easily the coolest, most awesome, and most virile Captain in the entire Federation. And the coolest, most awesome, and most virile character in the entire history of Television. Boys want to grow up to be me, and girls dream of my torn tunics. It's a tremendous responsibility.
Now, I know what you're saying. "Bill," you say, "you're not actually Captain Kirk. You're not even actually T.J. Hooker. You're an actor. Maybe the greatest of our generation, but still, just an actor."
Really? Just an actor? While I may not have been torn in two after beaming up from Alpha 177, battled a Gorn on the planet Metron, or had to overthrow Nazis on the planet Ekos in the M-34 Alpha system, I did actually do all those things. Which does, in turn, make me Captain James T. Kirk.
But I'm so much more: a legendary actor; noteworthy writer; visionary director, unparalleled singer, wildly successful pitchman, and equanimitous horse master guy. And now, I'm also your personal guide to navigating the trials and tribulations of life. Yes, now, whenever you are faced with a dilemma or a puzzle or a question you just need to ask yourself: What Would Shatner Do? Then come here and find out.
I think it is about time for me to finally accept my responsibility, straighten out this planet. If you have a question, just ask me and I will answer. But act fast, because I am getting close to beaming up so I can go find myself a green Orion slave girl and boogie the night away.
